sparks of JOY

The 10 minute challenge has been going well.  It doesn’t always mean blogging, it means updating a SMASH journal this week, just jotting thoughts on scrap paper and sometimes it means sitting here in front of a monitor and typing the words that dance around in my head.

This Sunday morning as I enjoyed my cup of coffee and looked around the house I started to think about the little big things that spark joy in my life. 

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It can begin at the cup of morning coffee which is a consistent habit in my life.  Often times made with love by the man I love.  This morning I was reminded of motorcycle mans love of tennis and how he will record tennis matches so he can see who will win the big game.  Before DVR’S he would set his alarm to watch games that were televised in the early morning hours while we all slept.  This sparks joy in me because it’s part of who he is and I love all the details the makes Rich the person I fell in love with. 

I love when I notice a new flower has opened up in the garden, or a tomato flower has popped open, knowing it will soon be a beautiful piece of fruit.  I love to watch a snail slowly cross the sidewalk and leave an iridescent trail behind its path.

I love the smell of the barbeque when the meat is grilling and the charcoal aroma reminds me of how blessed we are to have consistent meals. I love to sit around the backyard fire at night, especially with people I love, music playing and the dim city stars scarcely to be seen. 

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I love when Abbie and Blue Jay call me up to show me a purple light shadow on the bedroom floor because they know it will spark the shot of joy that makes us all smile and laugh.

I love walking past the gigantic ceramic bowl of fruit that sits on the dinning room table and catching the fragrance of fresh peaches as I walk by.

I love how this year is the year of rainbows and I become so excited to find them in the most unexpected places.  I love when I set my intention to find things they appear, the hearts, the feathers and now rainbows.  I’m realizing that when we set our intentions on the good, good finds us back. When we smile and speak in love, smiles and love follows us back. 

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Although all these things have been fully enjoyed in the decade of 40,  40 was not my most spectacular decade.  I will call it the decade of learning and sometimes the lessons were hard.  If I didn’t focus on the little big things it may have been worse.  If I didn’t have my faith and belief in a God much bigger and greater than anything, things would have been far worse.  I had high anxiety and it resulted in some obsessive compulsive behavior  (truth be told, it’s still a struggle a little bit) I feel deeply and my make up is to hold it all inside.  This decade I have been practicing to speak out more and it’s helped elevate some of the symptoms.  If you have followed me for a time and know some of my story I had sores all over my legs and some of my body because I picked myself obsessively.  I wanted to believe it was a condition so I spent more than half the decade looking for the answer through diet, multiple doctors visits and so many ointments it was completely ridiculous.  Until  the 3rd  dermatologist who was straight forward,  told me it was ALL ME.  No weird food allergies or skin conditions.  I just needed to figure out how to deal with my self hate and anxiety in another more healthy way.  This part has been the journey.  It’s better so much better, I call it 98%.  Perhaps when I reach that half way to 100 mark I will have it in the bag.