Yesterday when we got home I thought about what my ordinary might be. Rich had set the courage poles in the garden’s ground last weekend. I thought I should see how sturdy they are. With my camera in my hand and as I climbed to just the first level I shot down. I fell immediately in love with the image. I’m noticing that I tend to lean towards the darker exposures rather then the lighter ones. I true benefit of shooting in manual. I have already shared this image as part of my ordinary but I have also decided to include it into today’s blog.
In October I began a new journey. A journey of truth and a journey of acceptance and my favorite part, the journey to complete healing. So below are my legs today. It’s been exactly 28 days today since I simply stopped scratching. Like cold turkey. That rubber band on my wrist. I didn’t really need it much. I didn’t like snapping myself with it. I just decided I had enough, I understood the reasons why. I stood up. I stayed strong, I lost a great deal but I gained so much more. I gained my health, I gained understanding and I was able to realize the true gifts God has given me, the people in my life who I can have a mutual love with, the ones who build up and do not tear down, the ones who show grace, the ones who forgive, the ones who realize humanity is just that…plain old humanity with flaws, cracks and imperfections. I choose to surround myself with these people. I choose to still love the others but it’s one thing to love and another thing to allow them to remain like a constant storm in my life.
It has all been about baby steps, really teeny tiny baby steps. I have been told I’m stubborn so I suppose I just took a long time to get it through my head how hard but really how simple this could be. My next goal after the healing has taken place will be my core. My life coach, she is so very wise and she reminds me that when our core is strong and sturdy, then all other things naturally seem to fall into place. Spiritually I want a very strong core but also physically I want a strong core. Once my legs heal completely I will focus on my core. Spiritual and physical. This will take lots of work on my part. I’m ready. I will also realize just like the healing, this might take a good long time and with it will come lots of failure. Yep, that will happen and I will have to be okay with it because as we all know we have to fail in order to succeed.
I feel so honored that I have been able to share my heart with whomever is willing to read my words and through the years it has been a good deal of people. Because these beautiful people, they encourage me, they make me cry good tears and they love. They are love. So many of the people who read my words are love. I have learned this and it has taught me a great deal about people.