summer in the garden

I find such healing and peace when I spend time in my garden.  Our grass is prickly and brown, it sort of hurts to walk across it.  We are trying to be careful not to water very much.  Abbie's tee even looks in jeopardy.  However my garden that produces, I water it.  Not a ton but enough for it to stay alive. I talk to it lots, it surprises me sometimes too.  When we returned from Indiana I notice the Italian zucchini had grown into small zucchini pumpkins.  So round and full and cute.  They taste wonderful too.  I sautéed one up the other night. Here are some images from today.  I was so happy to float in the pool, to swim in the water to feel that freedom and peace water gives to me.  It felt so good to have the hot sun blanket on my sore legs.  The sun and water are always good therapy.  There were lady bugs in my garden too.  So many it made me  happy.

 

growth

Everything that slows us and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.
— May Sarton

I planted my seeds in March, when they began to grow I planted them in the ground in April.  The left is April 6th and the right is June 8th.  These are from the seeds my mom brought me back from Italy.  The zucchini looks more like round balls.  I can't wait to see how they grow and spread.  The cantaloupe is doing amazing too.  The tomatoes never showed up but Mama showed me in her garden that her Italian tomatoes were coming up.  It gave me hope so I planted more seeds today of the Italian tomato.  So far I have two volunteers from last year in the tomato category.  They are sweet like candy but look sort of scraggly.   I can't tell you how much I love to watch my garden develop, grow, thrive and give us food to eat.  I also planted carrots, beets, lettuce, celery, radish, sugar snap peas and even brussel sprouts but all from seed so patience is a requirement.

The radish below is from Mama Bears garden.  I shared all the seeds from Italy with family and friends.  Below the radish grew into a perfect heart.  So Mama Bear gave her heart radish to me.  I was so excited. 



drastic times call for drastic measures

So basically.  The long and short of it.  I had been taking new medication for 3-1/2 months called Doxepin.  This medication was supposed to be the miracle wonder drug.  It would help depression/anxiety/itching/insomnia.  Hello!  Sign me up. 

Turns out my depression and anxiety intensified to a whole new level of darkness and it was scary.  I didn’t want to do much of anything at all and if it involved people interaction it was a definite NO. I do have little roller coaster rides with my emotions but this was different.  I was also having the longest period of my life in May on top of the feelings of darkness and tremendous scratching due to anxiety.  The all-time worst ever. My weight had quickly climbed to 186 pounds, the heaviest I have ever been.  Due to my seeing things backwards and upside down, I thought at first when I visited the doctor it read 189, I nearly died.  I love how I keep getting all-time highs in my weight.  Geesh.  The doctor talked to me a good long while and let me know sadly a side effect to the doxepin was increased anxiety and depression, increased appetite and this list goes on…you know how horrid the side effect list can be.  Go figure.  End result.  Stop taking the doxepin and she did a biopsy of my cervix to eliminate cervical cancer.  Still waiting to hear back.

I decided on my own to take drastic measures.  I’ve had it.  Not following a specific plan so to say but just remembering a few years back when an acupuncturist told me very bluntly, “lose weight, stop eating meat, dairy and packaged food, only eat fruits vegetables and drink lots of water”  I never went back.  His advice was not something I was willing to accept.  He said  was full of toxins.  

Day one was hell.  I could barely focus or think and I got the worst head ache I have ever had.  My head was pounding and my eyes were tearing up, I thought I would throw up.  I slept when I got home from work and by 7 p.m. I was beginning to feel the headache go away.  My energy for 3 days straight was low, very low.  No coffee, no meat, no sugar, no bread. NONE OF IT.  By day 4 I was feeling so much better.  I agreed to meet up with my mom and sister.  It was extremely good medicine.  See below. 

I’m on day 7 and I’m feeling so much better, my energy has returned and I feel very strong and disciplined.  I have no idea how I’m even doing this.  But I am.  And that’s what I have been up to lately.

 

Thursday Fullerton Farmers Market

hello.  I’m a little bit frustrated that my friends and family are not getting my updates from the page I created to follow my blog.  Apparently, I DO NOT KNOW what I’m doing just yet.  

WEEK 1

WEEK 1

That aside, today I want to talk about the spring time farmers market that happens in the town I grew up in.  Each Thursday for the past five weeks I have hit up our local market to buy mostly things to juice.  I bought my beautiful basket from Share & Do Good and each Thursday I have filled it up this basket with goodness.  On Fridays I like to make our sweet juice which usually involves beets, carrots, pineapple, apples and ginger of course….so GOOD.  It’s very sweet though so Austin and I decided it would be good to only do this juice on Fridays.  

WEEK 2

WEEK 2

Below are the pictures of my weekly baskets.  This month I was on a roll and didn’t miss one market.  Today I even had to go early because Abbie and I are off to watch the Wizard of Oz….or as little Aussie used to say…the Lizard of Oz.    

WEEK 3

WEEK 3

WEEK 4

WEEK 4

WEEK 5

WEEK 5

Happy Weekend!!

 

things lately and most importantly - he turns 20 on this day

I have so much to talk about really so much.  I have been really busy lately.  This is good because I have been busy spending time with people I love and that’s very important to do.  I don’t feel too bad about not spending time in my new blog space.  I’m still getting used to it here.  I really miss the community of wordpress but i love the modern simple feel of this space.  I suppose it’s like getting used to a new car.  Yep, got one of those too.  Austin will be taking over my jeep so it stays in the family and I will drive something different.  I park the new car in the garage but I’m not all about cars not to say I don’t appreciate this new space aged vehicle, I just don’t think it’s something to talk about in depth.    

Also my oldest son turns 20 today.  That’s mind blowing.  MIND BLOWING.  I made a video for him to honor the years he has lived so far.  In this video he reads a poem he wrote.  I hope he likes what I put together for him.  It was my April project.  It took some time this one.  I of course see all the flaws like when I was filming my computer screen to use the baby footage but I’ll try and set that aside.

click HERE  to see the video time capsule

If you want to see his video the secret word is love. 

Lastly, I’m excited about the Polaroid Impulse SE, I picked up while shopping at Savers this past Friday.  I also found a warehouse literally around the corner from where I work where I bought a pack of impossible film.  This film is like pure gold.  It’s pricey and for only eight shots.  So I have decided to make this a Polaroid self portrait project.  I will take a photo every Monday for 8 weeks.  This is my first attempt.  I call it eyes without a face.  I need to see how to not use the flash.  Such a learning curve.  But I’m stoked.  This also teaches me a lesson of patience.  I can hardly wait until next Monday.