the bathroom window

I have noticed recently that our bathroom window is ever changing.  Not just the things that get set on the windows ledge but the view itself. 

So from time to time I think I may document this window with my iPhone.  Just for the fun of it.

I took this image because the beautiful morning glory caught my eye and the window ledge was peaceful with one blue bottle.  I set the rocks up there and snapped. 

I took this picture because there was so much stuff on the ledge and it caught my attention. 

We have two bathrooms in this house but truly all five of us and company use this bathroom 99% of the time.  The upstairs bathroom is considered the "boys"  It has one shower and no bath.  Turns out my two boys like baths more than a shower it seems.  Bath time when they were young was a big deal.  It was monumental in fact.  A big part of our nightly ritual.  They still love it. 

When we moved into this house, only this bathroom was in service.  The upstairs boys bathroom was gutted and even the ceiling below was destroyed by a shower leak.  The only available bathroom was this downstairs original 1950's bath.  A shallow green tub with no shower, so for months our whole family took only baths, this included motorcycle man. Years ago we tore out the old green shallow tub and put in a really deep tub.  I'm into deep tubs and deep sinks.  When we tore out the original shallow 1950's sink, I replaced it with a double deep sink so I could also bathe my kids in the sink.  I will never compromise if I have the choice between deep tubs and deep sinks.  Although now a days we can't fill the tubs so full but I dream of the day when we can again.  

52 sunsets with my sister

My sister called me 13 weeks ago out of the blue to propose a photo project.  She wanted to share a weekly sunset with me.  Of course I'm game:)  Below is number 13.  To see all of our sunsets to date we post them weekly on Instagram #52sunsetswithsister.  Now forever more when sunsets happen daily I think of my sister whether she be near or far like the photo below which she took in France or mine which I took in Arizona on our road trip last week.  We live under the same sun and it's a great reminder that the sun gives us hope on a rainy day similar to how the son gives us hope when things look a little gloomy.

Have a great weekend and much love.  I'm hoping soon to spend more time doing more yoga, watching shadows, loving golden light and hopefully finding my creative spirit again.  What are your hopes for the future?

Amanda's image from France No. 13

Amanda's image from France No. 13

My image from Arizona No. 13

My image from Arizona No. 13



melons and yoga

 It’s really true.  When one thinks good thoughts, good things will happen.  I believe it with my entire heart.  It’s been a different kind of summer, I’ve missed my little mini me and I have been working like a real live working woman.  The kind I always dreamt of being.  Yeah, when I was a kid I didn’t want kids all I wanted to be was a career woman or as my mom and dad will tell you “a rear woman”  When they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up my answer was “a rear woman”  They were like, “what’s that?”  my answer “it’s a woman who works for a living”  and just like that….God had such different plans for me.  Better ones! He gave me three kids!  I normally work from 9 to 1 Monday through Friday (best most awesome hours ever) but lately it's been more like 8:30 to 5:00.  

Back to good things happen when good thoughts are thought.  Last night when I got into bed I went to bed listing my gratitude.  There were so many things to be grateful for.  The list went on and on until I fell to sleep.  I woke up and was so happy it was Friday.  I poured a tall cup a coffee into the most adorable hand drawn mug with a big big sunshine on it and words of goodness from a pal of mine.  

I got into the car and what song is on?  Rebel, Rebel!  My song!  We joke around about the rebel who lives inside me.  Yep, me the quiet, sweet little red headed girl.  She has a rebel inside her.   I was grinning ear to ear when I stepped into the car and that song was playing!

The next thing that happened was I spotted this hawk sitting up on a street lamp and well, that’s always a good sign and I was thinking lots on my way to work.  I was thinking about how nice it would feel to be appreciated.  Appreciation is important to give and to receive.   Doesn’t everyone like to feel appreciated?  As the day went along at work I had lots of entertaining moments and guess what?  A beautiful edible delivery arrived with a note from a subcontractor “thanking us for all we do”  It was addressed to us gals in the office.  There you go…that little bit of appreciation just sealed the deal.  My day was made.  

I know it may sound weird and some people have issues with this kind of thinking but I would just have to say.  Try it.  What do you have to lose? It’s also kind of contagious.

What else good is happening?

I cut open my first and probably only melon of the season.  It tastes as yummy as it looks too!

I have been keeping sane by doing yoga with Adriene and even started her 30 day challenge.  

I can be found doing yoga in Abbie’s bedroom or the kitchen.  Those are my two favorite spots.

That’s about it for today.    Wishing you all a wonderful, wonderful weekend and I will be taking stock very soon as today is the last day of July!  I can’t even believe that.  hugs, kisses, cartwheels and handstands.  wishing you all…which ever one or two people read this till the end….a very, very lovely weekend. 

Stay Gold

“Nature’s first green is gold/Her hardest hue to hold/Her early leaf’s a flower/ But only so an hour/Then the leaf subsides to leaf/So Eden sank to grief/So dawn goes down to day/Nothing gold can stay. ”
— Robert Frost

Are you a night owl?  OR Are you an early bird?   

There is no doubt the morning is so peaceful, quiet and holds a certain calm.  However I’m more of a night owl so I miss many of the beautiful sun rises but I will often catch the sun set.  

My favorite time of day…is always golden.  I’m a sucker for the golden light.  I have written about it before.  I even included The poem by Robert Frost and honestly I was introduced to Robert Frost from S.E. Hinton when my mom had me take a speed reading class one summer at our local library and this was the book we were given to speed read.  I was my daughters age when I read this book (13) I could hardly believe it when shortly after reading it they made a movie out of it.  The cast!  I mean speaking of golden…that cast was golden.   The best cast ever.  So when I hear that poem, visually I go to the scene in the movie. Pony Boy and Johnny.  Those two standing in the golden light as the sun crept to the other side of the world and Pony Boy quotes that poem.  That’s where Stay Gold came from.  

As I sat this evening reading words from kindred spirits, taking it all in the golden light caught my eye.  I stopped.  I grabbed my camera and I took a few shots.  It didn’t matter that it hi-lited the dusting I have to do, it all looked perfectly beautiful, perfect and golden.  In focus out of focus…it was a gift.  A gift to witness the golden light as it quickly shifted through my windows, bouncing off my mantel and new/old record player.  The gift I’m so grateful for, the gift I can’t wait to listen to.  I feel blessed even when my days are long and my summer is nothing like I had imagined it would be.  It will give me a better appreciation for my half day hours and the time that gives me for my creative outlet.  Keeps me sane, keeps me happy.  In the meantime I know it’s only temporary and like Robert Frost says…..nothing gold can stay.  

And just experimenting.  Not sure how I feel about the black background.  XO have a wonderful weekend. 

Taking Stock June

“I’m happy that since January I have been able to take stock. It’s been my one consistency since blogging in general has slowed down tremendously since I switched to square space. ”

MADE:  A paper chain count down to when our littlest and only girl will be back home. 

COOKED: Italian zucchini from my garden.  Yum.   

DRANK: my green juice, back on coffee…that didn’t last but a second

READ:  “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise L. Hay.  Thank you Crystal, I remember this book cover well from the 90’s when I stocked books at Walden Books. 

WANTED: I still want a record player..  YEP still.  It’s really a matter of not wanting to shovel out the dough

RECEIVED:  a beautiful painting.  A collaboration of sorts.  I appreciate it very much.  Thank you Carie.

PLAYED:  in the pool

DECIDED:  to be more gentle with myself

WISHED:  I would be more of a routine girl…sort of

ENJOYED: a long weekend in Indiana seeing family and friends

WONDERED:  how much more hair Max could keep shedding. 

PONDERED:  the thought of having smooth legs and being at peace with who I am.

STARTED:  a journal with my littlest and only girl that we can do together while apart.  A wreck it kind of journal. 

WATCHED: videos from my Time Capsule workshop, trying to get re-inspired. 

HOPED:  for the best possible health

NEEDED: to simplify my closet and drawers…and did

SMELLED:  the sweet earth

WORE:  a super rad t-shirt made especially with love from Amy and Christina - and the NOW gals who met up on the East Coast

NOTICED:  Light coming back to my first born

KNEW:  Meeting Angela, Andrea and Laura would be all I imagined and more. 

THOUGHT:  about painting that dinning room, now a gray color instead of peacock. 

ADMIRED:  My second born for his discipline and great example of good health

SORTED:  old clothes and donated them

BOUGHT: a pretty brass ring in Indiana

FINALLY: felt my own light and peace come back after stopping a medication that was meant to give me this but instead gave me more darkness and anxiety

DISLIKED:  all the bad things that happen in this world:(

FELT:  much better this month knowing my test came back negative and having a more regular month in terms of health

FOLLOWING:  Jesus my best example

SNACKED:  a little junk like doughnuts from zombie in Fullerton

LISTENED: “hold on tight” by Greg Holden because it will make a great song for a new video

DISCOVERED:  that Indiana is just beautiful even it’s humidity because I think that humid weather does wonder for peoples skin.  All the Indiana folks had gorgeous, supple glowing skin.  AND two new magazines.  The Sun and Flow, both very excellent.  Thank you Aunt Tina for Sun…it’s so wonderful. 

SCRIPTURE:  Matthew 11:28-30  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and you will find rest for you souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

summer in the garden

I find such healing and peace when I spend time in my garden.  Our grass is prickly and brown, it sort of hurts to walk across it.  We are trying to be careful not to water very much.  Abbie's tee even looks in jeopardy.  However my garden that produces, I water it.  Not a ton but enough for it to stay alive. I talk to it lots, it surprises me sometimes too.  When we returned from Indiana I notice the Italian zucchini had grown into small zucchini pumpkins.  So round and full and cute.  They taste wonderful too.  I sautéed one up the other night. Here are some images from today.  I was so happy to float in the pool, to swim in the water to feel that freedom and peace water gives to me.  It felt so good to have the hot sun blanket on my sore legs.  The sun and water are always good therapy.  There were lady bugs in my garden too.  So many it made me  happy.

 

growth

“Everything that slows us and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.”
— May Sarton

I planted my seeds in March, when they began to grow I planted them in the ground in April.  The left is April 6th and the right is June 8th.  These are from the seeds my mom brought me back from Italy.  The zucchini looks more like round balls.  I can't wait to see how they grow and spread.  The cantaloupe is doing amazing too.  The tomatoes never showed up but Mama showed me in her garden that her Italian tomatoes were coming up.  It gave me hope so I planted more seeds today of the Italian tomato.  So far I have two volunteers from last year in the tomato category.  They are sweet like candy but look sort of scraggly.   I can't tell you how much I love to watch my garden develop, grow, thrive and give us food to eat.  I also planted carrots, beets, lettuce, celery, radish, sugar snap peas and even brussel sprouts but all from seed so patience is a requirement.

The radish below is from Mama Bears garden.  I shared all the seeds from Italy with family and friends.  Below the radish grew into a perfect heart.  So Mama Bear gave her heart radish to me.  I was so excited. 



drastic times call for drastic measures

So basically.  The long and short of it.  I had been taking new medication for 3-1/2 months called Doxepin.  This medication was supposed to be the miracle wonder drug.  It would help depression/anxiety/itching/insomnia.  Hello!  Sign me up. 

Turns out my depression and anxiety intensified to a whole new level of darkness and it was scary.  I didn’t want to do much of anything at all and if it involved people interaction it was a definite NO. I do have little roller coaster rides with my emotions but this was different.  I was also having the longest period of my life in May on top of the feelings of darkness and tremendous scratching due to anxiety.  The all-time worst ever. My weight had quickly climbed to 186 pounds, the heaviest I have ever been.  Due to my seeing things backwards and upside down, I thought at first when I visited the doctor it read 189, I nearly died.  I love how I keep getting all-time highs in my weight.  Geesh.  The doctor talked to me a good long while and let me know sadly a side effect to the doxepin was increased anxiety and depression, increased appetite and this list goes on…you know how horrid the side effect list can be.  Go figure.  End result.  Stop taking the doxepin and she did a biopsy of my cervix to eliminate cervical cancer.  Still waiting to hear back.

I decided on my own to take drastic measures.  I’ve had it.  Not following a specific plan so to say but just remembering a few years back when an acupuncturist told me very bluntly, “lose weight, stop eating meat, dairy and packaged food, only eat fruits vegetables and drink lots of water”  I never went back.  His advice was not something I was willing to accept.  He said  was full of toxins.  

Day one was hell.  I could barely focus or think and I got the worst head ache I have ever had.  My head was pounding and my eyes were tearing up, I thought I would throw up.  I slept when I got home from work and by 7 p.m. I was beginning to feel the headache go away.  My energy for 3 days straight was low, very low.  No coffee, no meat, no sugar, no bread. NONE OF IT.  By day 4 I was feeling so much better.  I agreed to meet up with my mom and sister.  It was extremely good medicine.  See below. 

I’m on day 7 and I’m feeling so much better, my energy has returned and I feel very strong and disciplined.  I have no idea how I’m even doing this.  But I am.  And that’s what I have been up to lately.